dumbass trump tweets

who knew you could learn so much from donald trump's tweets?! i feel like every bad idea i've had about him and what he's tweeted has been... 100% (or maybe 101%) right. here are my top 11 tweets from the trump since he's taken office.

  1. oh no, more fake news. shame.
    2. it's a shame how on february 9th, they released an article about you not talking with mr. xi since november 14th, when in fact you spoke with him on.... on... oh, look, on february 9th. how dare they.
  2. didn't they just come out of court? and for a second time?
    3. third time's the charm, i'm sure!
  3. 8% + 38% + 55% = ?
    4. i haven't been in a class where we add up percentages in a while, but i'm pretty sure 8% + 38% + 55% is 101%. at least that's what my calculator says. oh no. my calculator is trying to feed me fake news now, too.
  4. rip iran.
    5. i'm really glad iran has been formally "put on notice" via twitter. that's where i get all my notices, too. although i would suggest tagging iran in the tweet? or at least throw a hashtag in there...
  5. thousands?!
    6. where are we going to put thousands of illegal immigrants!? oh, and by "thousands," he mean about 1,254. and illegal immigrants means refugees. glad we cleared that up.
  6. bad people?
    7. keeping bad people out of the country? so every one of those people affected by the "ban" were bad? wow, glad to know my iranian friends are "bad." i had no idea. they made the best bbq, too!
  7. strong borders, strong friendships.
    8. "borders" is plural? look out, canada! trump is going to send a wall up to you, too!
    oh what? you want to pay for it? well, that was easy.
  8. yeah, go gregg -- wait. who's gregg?
    9. yeah, i don't know who gregg philips is, let alone whatever votestand is, but 3,000,000 votes were illegal?! how absurd. well there's only one option for us to do: let's redo this election!
  9. nobody will notice...
    10. restarting that pipeline project? excellent idea. who needs to ensure clean and safe water for future generations?
  10. i think they did vote?
    11. i know this number is from fake news site extraordinaire, cnn, but hilary won the popular vote by almost three million votes. maybe those protesters were some of the three million? nah, probably not. they just didn't vote to start with.
  11. 'merica.
    12. hell yeah! america all the way! and that's great to hear from a man with his own clothing line that is proudly made in... china, mexico, and turkey?

this has really been an interesting read, and honestly, i've been trying to post this article for a few weeks now but i just keep gathering more and more juicy tweets. perhaps we'll see a trump tweets v2.0 in the future?